First off I am a Schiller. Now you might think with that German name my family would be just awesome, but the reality is my family is not quite normal. As well as being named after a Schiller it comes with something oh so special, my uncle Bob calls it “the Schiller curse…” its sad but true. The Schiller curse basically is just been born into the Schiller family, and being cursed with having them as your family.
I am going to start off this great survival guide with the mutant in the family, my sister Danielle or as I like to call her “Skippy” (I don’t know why). My sister… well she’s interesting, she’s probably about 5’0” (little, little girl) and 19 years old, has blonde hair and a quirky personality. Now I like to think of my sister as a puppy specifically a wiener dog (because she walks so slow, short legs) and she’s happy and hyper like a puppy with her tongue hanging out the window, and now everyone else is a Great Dane. SO when you decide to go on a walk with her or she tags along because she’s bored and lonely just keep in mind that you will be walking about 5 feet every 5 minutes. Now she’s also very controlling and has to make sure things are done “her way” well, that just isn’t going to work, so when she tells you something or to do something her way, the best way to get what YOU want is to simply use reverse psychology, she gets confused quite easily so that’s all you got to do and she wont even know what has just happened. NOW finally and probably the most important piece of information, my sister is a nosy little thing (hint being a dog) DO NOT tell her about your new friends and ESPECIALLY if they are guys (I am a girl) she will Facebook creep them like there’s no tomorrow and when she meets them… that’s a whole new battle. Just prepare to be embarrassed.
Next is my dad… oh dear here we go. My dad.. well like my sister he is interesting but also very serious at times. Lets start off with his humour, I hate to admit t but at times can be quite funny, we usually team up and pick on old Skippy the wiener dog but she doesn’t mind. My dad however LOVES a good pun, hes very punny… and for most people, they don’t like puns, so when you bring someone over and you set up a good pun for him, run out of the room ASAP or face eternal embarrassment. Now for the serious side, as much as he likes to joke around and have fun you need to know the limit. When hes on his computer or being very quiet, DO NOT POKE HIM! He will flip out and get angry it best to hide away from him when hes like that or else.
Next is my mother, I call her the glue of the family. She has to listen to everyone’s complaints and whining and ugh I don’t know how she does it. But I hate to say it, but my mom is pretty “hip” and “cool” she’s a great mom but on the embarrassment scale.. She surpasses my dad and my sister by a lot. Its best to just be short and sweet with her when having people over DO NOT let them linger around her, she will try to start a conversation and when that happens, you are doomed. I love my mom but sometimes the things she says…. Is just not okay, at all.
As much as I might “trash” my family deep down I do love them so so much and I would not trade them for a perfectly normal family whatsoever, they are who they are and I wouldn’t want them any other way.
